MBA – A satirical take

In a small Conference room in Dallas Downtown office of an ecommerce company –

Hiring Manager, HM – So I looked over your resume. Everything looks great. I think you are smart and would be a good fit for what we are looking for.

Candidate – I have a question though.

HM – Sure.

Candidate(nervously) – I do not have any background in Ecommerce. I have never worked in technology at all. I was an accountant before I was called for this job.

HM – But you have an MBA.

Candidate – Ah in that case …


An hour later …

HR Recruiter –  So after meeting the hiring manager and the team, do you have any questions for me?

Candidate (hesitatingly): No I feel ok.

HR Recruiter : What are your salary expectations?

Candidate – About $130-140K.

HR Recruiter : Well but this is an entry level position that pays in 100K range.

Candidate: But I have 130 K in loans to repay.

HR Recruiter(unmoved) – So?

Candidate – And I have an MBA.

HR Recruiter – Ah in that case …

Few months later at the American Embassy in Beijing –

Counselor –  Do you have any relatives that live in the US?

Candidate – No. My family is all in China.

Counselor scratches his grey beard as he inspects the documents and then fixes his gaze on the candidate standing on the other side of visa window.

Counselor – So how long do you plan to stay in the US?

Candidate – Not long, as long as my job keeps me there. And then I want to help the US economy grow.

Counselor raises his eyebrows.

Counselor – What do you mean?

Candidate – I am perfectly placed in my career to do my bit to help US economy grow. I want to be an entrepreneur and create next billion dollar enterprise. With its favorable business conditions, US is so ideal.

Counselor (annoyed) – Do you think the land of Bill Gates, Warren Buffet and Mark Suker…whatever his name is the-facebook-guy needs you to help revive US economy.

Candidate – But I have an MBA …

Counselor – Ah in that case …



Few years later at Fox and Hound in suburban Philadelphia, PA …

Candidate – Do you know there are over 200 billion galaxies in the universe?

Blue Eyes(smiles) : Hmm. Didnt know that.

(Blue Eyes moves her chair slightly away from Candidate’s.)

Candidate: Many people think the G is ticker symbol for General Electric when it’s actually of Genpact. BTW GE and IBM are the only companies that have churned profit at least one of the fiscal quarter every year for the last 100 years.

Blue Eyes(shrugs) : OK yeah sure.

(Blue Eyes pretends to be engrossed with TV programming.)

Candidate – You know the whole financial collapse was actually a result of the de-regulation bill passed during Bill Clinton era. People really shouldn’t fault Bush.

Blue Eyes (visibly irritated by now) – Excuse me – you have been bothering me for the last 20 mins. Do I know you?

Candidate(confidently)– NO, but its ok. I have an MBA.

Blue Eyes – Ah in that case …


Few decades later, in a dark room of a big suburban Miami mansion–

Candidate – I made fortune in accounting. Then I made money in ecommerce. Though I don’t want you to follow my path. I want you to do what you like!!!

Son – Yes Father. Though making money is important too. Look at you, you have been so successful.

Candidate – But I feel so sick. And I am not so sure about my success.

Son – Well before you go back to coma again, I would like to request you to lend me 1 million dollar that I need to set up the strip club business.

Candidate (exasperated) – What??? We for generations have stood for professions that bring honor. And 1 million dollars??? You haven’t earned a penny your entire life and you want me to trust you with 1 million dollars!!!

Son – But Father, I have an MBA.

Candidate (yells) – And so do I!!!

Son – Well…in that case.

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