My highschool principal, Ruby Yao, addressed my 16 year-old self and his highschool class mates; The Makati Hope Christian School Batch of 1998. The speech was entitled “Tell Me Who Your Friends Are, and I’ll Tell You Who You Are.”

That was just a little under 11 years ago, but the spirit and meaning of that particular baccalaureate service is still not lost on me.

I still think it’s complete nonsense.

However, before I continue on with this blog post, I do feel that a short backgrounder is in order.

Makati Hope is a private, non-sectarian educational institution which aims to provide world-class education peppered with Christian values. It was established in 1985, with only 25 kindergarten students – one of which was my 4 year old self. Since then, it’s grown to produce some of the most academically successful accountants, doctors and engineers in the country.

During my day, the curriculum included Chinese language and arts, computer programming basics, calculus, advanced maths… and the occasional “Satan Burning”.

Now back to the main topic.

The 90’s could be considered my own personal “Wonder Years”. Lorena Bobbit had just mutilated parts that should never, not under any circumstance, ever be mutilated; production of crystal meth had become so cheap and easy, even bus drivers were taking hits just to be able to drive 12 hours across Northern Luzon without resting; Oasis and Alanis had only just started to teach the world how to rock again; Mt Pinatubo had just deposited 2 feet of pyroclastic ash and volcanic debris across the South Pacific.

Being a Christian institution, I guess that the school administration felt that it was their responsibility to shield young minds from the dangers of sex, drugs and rock and roll. I mean, come on. Lahar! Literally sulfur and brimstone, running on 150km/h of murderous intent. What else would you consider as the Signs of the Times?

It was high time that we had a Satan Burning.

The school arranged for a speaker to come in, they had set up a 3 day program that covered the dangers of everything from comic books (“caused” homosexuality) to Stephen Hawking (the Big Bang is not biblical, therefore the guy in the wheelchair is a servant of the devil). At the end of those 3 days, we had a Satan Burning, where everyone was encouraged – nay! – required at risk of demon possession to bring in everything that was ungodly and throw it into this big bonfire that was set up especially for the occasion.

I succeeded in ridding my uncle of his nasty vinyl copy of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band and myself of the vile evil that is Stephen Hawking.

A few years later, Ruby was on stage going on about the importance of choosing one’s friends in university, that one should make sure not to mix with sinners and evil-doers.

Up to this day, I wonder how different my life would be if I’d stuck close to those words. I would have probably spent university all alone. I wouldn’t have had friends at all; I would have been under the impression that everyone else, with their heathen ways, was going to drag my soul to hell and eternal damnation. I would probably have finished school alone and depressed, taken a job with some research firm and still be there today. Pale for lack of sunlight, not seen the world, not done a single shred of anything that would have made for a more interesting existence.

I wonder what Ruby would say now if I told her that I was part of an international crew of confident, intelligent, interesting, yet not necessarily like-minded individuals. I mean where else can you have a Mormon, a Jew and an agnostic Chink walk down a Muslim mall? Would she say that I had lost my way?

I think a better thought process would be to simply just tell me who the hell you are. Preferably over some whiskey, or coffee, or maybe even both… with Baileys. Wouldn’t it be simpler to just know people for who they are, instead of guessing and re-building the puzzle using random, misplaced pieces which are invariably taken out of context? Ok, reputation is one thing, but you know what was running through my mind when I was listening to Ruby?

If I introduced someone as that dude who hangs out with prostitutes, corrupt government officials and makes sure that everyone at his friends’ wedding parties got completely hammered, who would you have in mind?

Jesus Christ or Tony Soprano?

Honestly, I don’t care anymore. Now don’t get me wrong – MHCS is a fantastic institution. I will eventually send my kids (if I had any) to school there , but I’m also going to make sure that they know something that’s more important.

Gnothi sauton. What matters in REAL LIFE is that you know yourself.

I don’t care who you hang out with. No pretense. Just tell me who you are and we can take it from there.

Tell me who your friends are and I’ll you who you are.

Bah, humbug.

I sincerely hope you all take this to mind, and with that, folks, I bid 2009 adieu.

Have a great 2010.

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