Musings of a Mildly Mad MBA Mind – The Mock Interview

It’s 12:56, and I’ve decided to start writing a blog post. This is probably not the most intelligent thing to do, considering that I’ve got a big job interview early tomorrow morning. But then again, I did just have dinner with my Ex which is never an intelligent thing to do either, so might as well continue on with the inanity.

As mentioned, I’ve got a job interview tomorrow; a 2nd interview to be exact, applying for the position of Marketing Department Manager for a Chinese tour and travel company. And if it were only a question of popularity, I think I should have it in the bag: I’m Mr “Go Commando” (childhood nickname, the unfortunate result of a Spanish-style combination of  family surnames).

However, as “us” MBAs should know, jobs aren’t won on popularity… Or are they?

Think of it, who do you know has ever received a job offer based on his/her resume? Nobody.

You need to be interviewed, you need the other person to like you. Actually, if you think about it, you need a whole lot of people to like you.

I’d like to think I’m quite likable. In fact, in light of my distinct lack of any substance abuse issue, I’d like to think I’m very, very likable. I’d also like to think I’m confident, and smart and able to set the tone of any conversation.

The problem is, I’m not. Or rather, in real-life I am, but I suck in situations where you have to pump your chest out, put on a façade, and scream to the world that “I am AMAZING!” I hate those situations, and for some yet unknown psychological reason, I do the exact opposite of what is required.

But that’s what a job interview is – it’s a controlled experiment that tests how well you can talk your way out of anything. I can shell out with anyone in a pub, but I don’t know why I can’t do it properly in a climate controlled interview room with good lighting, and no loud noises. This is a situation where you have to rehearse an answer, and not even mention what’s really running in your head.

  • How do you see yourself in 5 years? I hope to own this company.
  • What are some of your weaknesses? That’s for me to know and you to find out!
  • What interested you about our company? Well, aside from the fact that you called me back for an interview?!
  • Do you think it’s ok to steal from an employer? Um, what exactly are we thinking about stealing?
  • What motivates you? Well, looking at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, I’d say it’s sex and money.
  • Do you prefer any geographic area? Yes, this place is perfect. Only 2 blocks away from my flat!

I’d like to answer thus, but won’t. For alas, complete honesty – in the real world – will get you nowhere.

It’s a good thing I’ve worked with the Fuqua CMC people on a number of job-hunting techniques, and mock interviews. Truth be told, while the exercises at the time seem quite bland, there really is no better way to prepare for an interview than having someone sit down with you and role play.

And before you even do that, you’ll need to know what you actually want to do with your life, because the person on the other side of the table WILL KNOW that you’re lying through your teeth. The CMC has some tests and processes for this part of the job hunt as well.

I’ve never really had any issues with the small things: Firm handshake, look them in the eye, answer with confidence, stop fidgeting, stop saying “uh” and “um”. I’ve had them along with common sense – what I really took away from the mock interviews is the capacity for molding and remolding yourself with each iteration of the process. The more you do it, the better you get at it.

It’s exactly like sales. And you’re the product.

You don’t have to tell the whole truth. In fact, you have to market yourself like you really are the bomb.

Yeah, that’s what I’m going to tell myself, walking into that office tomorrow in my power suit, and a big grin on my face.

  • Why should we hire you?

“Because I am amazing. You need me in this company. You know why? Because I am a Fuqua MBA and I’m a Leader of Consequence, that’s why!”

The M in MBA stands for Mployment: A Long Foreword by Some Guy I Don’t Know

So, I just finished the Finance mid-terms and I’m back to trawling the web for job leads and future sources of procrastination. Few things better to do on a slow Sunday afternoon when you’ve already bought yourself a buffet ticket that starts at lunch and ends at 10PM.

I’ve thus far applied to 1 job lead and downloaded another 6 songs from this quirky little group that I just discovered: Garfunkel and Oates.

As financial ratios go, 1:6 isn’t bad.  Not bad at all.

But then I have an inkling feeling that if I don’t pull my finger out before the start of Term 5, I might end up in the same horrible situation as this other poor blogger that Syed just told me about.

Ladies and Gentlemen, please meet Mr Keith Yost:
http://tech.mit.edu/V130/N16/dubai.html
http://tech.mit.edu/V130/N17/dubai.html
http://tech.mit.edu/V130/N18/dubai.html
http://tech.mit.edu/V130/N19/dubai.html

The whole series is a wonderfully interesting read, but the first part of his first entry probably sums it up what I’m thinking right now:

I hadn’t expected much coming out of college. I knew that recessions were not kind to the young and inexperienced, so I was surprised when I received an offer from the Boston Consulting Group to work as a business consultant in Dubai.

It seemed too good to be true — what did a business strategy firm need with a 22-year old nuclear engineer? — but the compensation was too much for me to harbor any serious second thoughts. Adding up the salary offer, signing bonus, housing allowance, performance bonus, and profit sharing, I could easily make $200,000 in my first year, topped off with a gold-plated benefits package.

I’d long given up my rebellious streak, but it was still a source of pride to outdo my parents. In a single stroke, I would surpass their highest combined income — what better proof of one’s independence could there be than that? Getting the job was not just a relief from the uncertainty of life after graduation. This was it. This was adulthood. This was everything I’d worked so hard for at MIT. I couldn’t be happier.

A short year later however, the dream job was gone.

The Dubai economy, advertised to me in interviews as recession-proof, was racked by a credit crisis that revealed deeper, arguably insurmountable, structural problems. My foreign adventure ended abruptly with a paroxysm of self-doubt and despair. In returning to the United States, I returned to all the feelings of uncertainty that came with graduation; I was right back to where I was before I had begun my job search, complete with the inescapable anxiety that comes from not knowing what you want to do in life. Seven months in the Middle East had taught me only one lesson: Even in the best of circumstances, business consulting can be a morally ambiguous and soul-crushing profession.

Now back in Boston, I find it hard to complain about how things turned out. I still may not know what I want to do in life, but I learned a little more about the world. I paid off $61,000 of student loans. I continue to get to waste my weekends on idle adventures with friends. When I am honest with myself, I must admit this was more than I had expected. Yet at the same time, what I am left with is little consolation when I think of how close I was to being set for life. Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder… what happened?

Indeed, the question in my head is “What will happen?”