Category: Oh my dearest India, how I love you so
I flew 14 hours direct, just missing the home snow.
When I arrived at the airport, you greeted me with trepidation
But eventually you opened your arms and I felt such elation.
I couldn’t wait to see you, so I hopped the next bus
I would ride another 18 hours, through your “fog” and tremendous clouds of dust.
By day two of that bus ride, I was ridin’ dirty with homies
I wouldn’t trade that for the world, ‘cause you’re my one and only.
With your marble white skin, red sandstone monuments,
And sickly children that still grin
I knew I still had 10 more days, that my courting was just at ‘begin’.
On the steps of Fort Amber, I was embarrassed when I said ‘Alice’
You were so kind and so forgiving, and said “Head over to Water Palace.”
But a funny thing started to happen, my insides became compromised
I started to slip up, and thought about my darlin’ Shanghai’s eyes.
It was a long bus ride, what can I say?
Not saying that it was right, just thought it might be ok
I know I was trippin’,
When I should’ve been tippin’
But everyone had their hand out
And my wallet was due for a refill like that glass of whiskey Ian be sippin’
Even still, I thought I was due a kiss, or at least a little hug,
I was surprised when you punched me in the stomach with that painful “Delhi Belly” bug
How was I to know we were exclusive? I mean, you act so elusive…
I asked Shashank what to do at breakfast, and he told me “Try learning some Hindi cursive!”
But it was too late, you soon had that look in your eye
I knew breakfast would be just temporary, out of my body it would soon fly
You didn’t need to get me back like that,
Making Adam M. hear my rants.
Luckily I was standing at the throne, just doing the ‘emergency dance’
Our breakup got messy, as it was inevitably bound to do
So I dropped the cleaning staff 10 rupees; actually, multiply that by two
India, if it’s per diem money that you’re after, just talk to Maria and you can have it
Just tell me how long it will be, ‘til I stop running to the bathroom as fast as a rabbit!
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